The Never Ending Saga of an aspiring Space Ranger

Growing up, I knew that I was something special. I felt within the very core of my being a "force", if you will. At a very early age, I realized just what that "force" was when I watched Star Wars for the first time at the tender age of 2. What my parents were thinking taking such a mere babe to such a mind-numbingly influential flick is quite beyond me, but nevertheless it set me on a course towards which the end-result would undoubtedly be my attaining Jedi Knight, and later Master, status.

Alas, anyone who knows me will agree with me that this did not happen. Although Yoda and I share much in common (we both have hair in very odd places), the Jedi career never quite panned out.

So, in a stroke of genius I have recently decided to cut short my dream of becoming a Jedi in the hopes of becoming just like my other hero in life, Buzz Lightyear. What can be said about Buzz that hasn't been said before? Flashing lights and a nameplate on his chest. Rapidly expanding wings on his back. Yelling out "To Infinity, and Beyond!" on a moment's notice. And apparently if I follow his lead I can eventually have a reset button in my battery compartment that when pressed will immediately make me fluent in Spanish. It's not exactly C-3PO's "6 million forms of communication", but it's a start!

So without further ado, I immediately proceeded to Disneyland to begin my training with Buzz. As can be seen by the pictures I have provided as evidence, if my competition doesn't become somewhat stiffer, I should have no problems attaining the rank I so desire with Star Command.

taken at roughly 1600 hours, 03 May, 2010



taken at roughly 1615 hours, 03 May, 2010

So, as can be seen, we see significant improvement in score and use of trigger finger in a very short span of time. I can only surmise this means that I am indeed Space Ranger material, and I was born with an innate ability to rapidly shoot Emperor Zurg in the chest over and over again. Even Star Command's feeble attempt to throw me from my game by providing me with a weapon on which my laser was set a full 2 feet beneath my sights was useless and laughable.

So, I hope to continue to update this as time warrants. One can only hope that this dream, unlike my Jedi dream, will pan out and that one day I will be leading the charge alongside my friend Mr. Lightyear against the evil Emperor Zurg, sworn enemy of all we hold dear.

If not, I hear they are looking for a new elevator operator at the Hollywood Tower Hotel.